Death Note Parody

Disclaimer: Why must i do these? Obviously, I did not create Death Note, we all know NO ONE here did. I DONT OWN ANY ANIME. If I owned Death Note, L would have killed Light and Misa would be dead, too. And people wouldn't make such weird faces.

-Major spoiler warning-
____

On one prettyful wondrous day, a mad teen boy was running around with a note book.
"I will be the BUDDAH of this world!" He screeched out loud like no one could hear him.
Then, a stupid ugly blond stumbled over to him. "Light, isn't it supposed to be the god of this world?"
Light shook his head. "What if they don't believe in God?"
The idiot looked blankly at him. "Still. The anime says-"
Light covered her mouth with his hand. "Shut up, Misa!  You're not supposed to mention the Anime!"
Misa snorted. "What does it matter?"
Suddenly a big shiny apple flew into Misa's over sized head.
"OW!" She roared.
Light narrowed his eyes and shook the notebook dramatically. "I told you!"
Misa looked over her shoulder to see who threw the apple but no one was there.
"I don't know who but whenever you mention... it.. the apple guy throws an apple at your head!" Light gasped.
Misa looked at him. "It's obviously Ryuk."
Light laughed stupidly. "There's no way it was Ryuk, that makes no sense!"
Misa looked at him with a face that just screamed 'Idiot'. "and I thought I was stupid."

Suddenly, a useless guy with black hair walked over.
"Light! L wants to talk to you!"
"OK." Light replied with that practiced innocent voice.
Then the fearsome threesome walked away.

"Yes. I have, in fact, come to a conclusion, that you are in fact, Kira. " L replied, waving a hand and chomping on a cookie.
Horror spread on Light's face. "Whaaaat?"
The useless man looked at L. "What? Impossible!"
L looked at him. "Shut up."
Useless man looked at the floor uselessly. "One day, i will be useful," He muttered.
Everyone in the room laughed, except for him.
"Hahahaha, okay, now we get serious." L said.
Light waved his arms. "HEY! Doesn't that mean you were joking when you called me Kira?"
L shook his finger. "ah hell nah."
Misa threw her hands into the air. "Misa says you crazy."
Light grabbed her by the shirt and pulled her closer. "Misa, don't make it obvious!"
The Useless man was standing next to them. "We can all hear you."
Light and Misa looked at him.
Suddenly a dude with a weird afro ran in. "OH MY FLIPPIN' GAWSH, L!"
L looked at him. "What, Aizawa?"
Aizawa stopped. "Light is Kira!"
Light looked at him. "How do you know?"
Aizawa smiled evilly. "I saw you writing in a notebook."
Misa looked at him. "so?"
"Only nerds write in notebooks for no reason. Are you a nerd, Light?"
Light scowled. "No."
Aizawa closed his eyes, lifted a finger and replied with a smile, "Then you are Kira."
Light looked dumbfoinded. "That makes no sense."
"Kira," L said.
Light looked at him. "what?"
"AH HA!" L screamed, but it only came out as a mutter because he's awesome like that.
"D'OH!" Light cried, face palming. "You know what this means? MIKAMI! KILL THEM!"

And somehow, Mikami heard him. "YES, GOD!" He screamed, and ran into a room, threw a death note on a table, and pulled out a pen. "DELETE!" He screamed, as he wrote down "L, Aizawa, and Useless man"
Light waited, then nothing happened. "What the- MIKAMI! Why aren't they dead?!"
Mikami ran into the room. "OI! SORRY GOD!"
Light turned to him. "WRITE!"
Mikami proceeded to do the death dance. Still, they did not die.
Now light was mad. "RETARD!" He slapped him. "DO IT."
Mikami wrote it down again, and then nothing.
A weird clown looking thing floated in with an apple. "Hmmm? Lemmie see." He said, taking the Notebook. Then he started to laugh that wheeze of a laugh he has. "You didn't put L's real name, Useless mans, or Aizawa's last name."
Mikami looked at them. "Oh..."
Light picked up Misa and started beating Mikami with her. "STUPID! Now they are immune to the Death Note!"
Mikami was ko'd from Misa's fat body and Misa also fainted.
L looked at Light white stuffing his face with candy. "mmurrledoorfemngd."
Light glared at him. "Don't talk with your mouth full!"
L swallowed. "Shut up. Why did you beat Death Dance boy with the retard?"
Light smiled. "Because i wanted to kill two birds with one stone."
Useless man pointed to Light. "KIRA!"
L picked up Light and threw him at him. "That's my job!"

Suddenly, Near ran into the room. "Hey guys!"
L looked at him. "Why are you alone? Where's Lady Gaga?"
"Mello's visiting Willy Wonka right now." Near replied.
Light stood up, pressing his hand on his aching head and walked away from Useless man. "Ive got a better question. When are you hitting puberty?"
Near glared at him. "ALBINO SMASH!" He leaped onto Light and proceeded to beat him into a pulp.
Then Mikami woke up. "Get your hands off God, Hoodlum!" He ran over and threw the tiny Near into a near(lol)by trash can.
Misa looked at Light. "OH MEH GOD, YOURE KIRA?"
Everyone looked at her.
Light threw his hands into the air. "Would someone kill L!"
Mikami smiled. "I poisoned the cake."
L was about to take a bite of the poisoned cake.
"NO, L, DONT DO IT THE CAKE IS A LIE!" Useless man cried.
L bit it. "What?"
Useless man fell to his knees. "NOOO!"
"Matsuda what are you talking about?!" L said.
Then L died.
"MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Light roared, dancing aroind like a drunk monkey.

Then, like alot of other people, Mello ran into the room.
"I HEARD CHOCOLATE!"
Near looked at him. "Go away."
"YOU GO AWAY.  AH SHIZES, L IS DEAD!"
Misa looked at him. "GO AWAY!" She threw chocolate out the door and it soared over Mello's head.
"CHOCOLATE!!!!" Mello screamed, and followed it away.
"THATS IT!" Matsuda roared. He pulled out a gin and shot Light in the hand.
"OOOOWWW! #$@%^$#$##@^&*$^@!%$^^%*$*&&!"
Near cocked an eyebrow. "I don't think there is a curse word that long."
Misa screamed. "NO! BOIFREND!"
Matsuda continued to shoot him.
Light roared in agony, then got up and ran away.
Nearby on the Eiffel Tower, Ryuk was there, and was writing Lights name on the death note. "You bore me Light, so i will kill you!"

Also nearby, Mello was fighting a six year old girl over his chocolate. "LET GO OR I KEEHL YOU!"

Light fell and died. "CURSE YOU RYUK!!! WHYYYY!"
Misa sat nearby his body. "WHYYY! MISA HATES THIS STUPID ANIME!"
An apple hit her in the back of her head and she fell on Light's bloody body, with her head on his.
Near and the others ran over
Aizawa realized he shouldn't be there and disappeared.
"OH EM GEE MISA IS MAKING AOUT WITH A CARCASS!" Matsuda cried, pointing to Misa.
"NECROPHILIA!!!" Near yelled.
Mello ran over, with a black eye and various bruises.
Near looked at him. "What the heck happened to you?"
"A damn ninja six year old happened." Mello snapped.
Matsuda looked at him. "What?"
Mello glared at Matsuda. "I don't want to talk about it."

And that is how Matsuda became un useless.

END
(I know this made no sense and such X3 I know when people died, but i just wanted to write something. X3)